As parents, we may think that once our children become adults, our role as a caregiver is over. However, parenting adult children can be just as important and challenging as parenting younger children.
Parenting adult children involves recognizing and embracing the changing dynamic between us and our grown-up offspring. It’s crucial to let go of the parental control we once had and respect their autonomy. As they venture into the world, we become guides and advisors rather than decision-makers. Embrace this shift with open arms, allowing your adult children to forge their own paths while providing a safety net of love and support. Here are some tips on how to navigate this new stage of parenting:
1. Communication is key
As children get older, it’s important to maintain open lines of communication. This means listening to their concerns and opinions, even if we don’t agree with them. It’s also important to express our own thoughts and feelings in a respectful and non-judgmental manner.
2. Be supportive, not controlling
As adults, your children should be able to make their own decisions and live their own lives. This means that we should avoid trying to control or micromanage their choices. Instead, offer support and guidance when needed, but ultimately let them make their own mistakes and learn from them. For me, this was difficult. I admit that I am a bit controlling and I want what’s best for my girls. I am learning to be patient with them and myself while tempering my thoughts with love and grace.
3. Respect their independence
Your child is no longer a child, and they deserve to be treated as an independent adult. This means respecting their boundaries and allowing them to make their own choices, even if we don’t agree with them. It is not always going to be easy but trust that you instilled within them all they need to make their own way. Remember that they too must experience life.
4. Keep the relationship positive
As with any relationship, it’s important to keep things positive. This means avoiding criticism or negative comments, and focusing on the things we love and appreciate about our adult children. It’s also important to maintain a sense of humor and enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes I sit in awe of the joy the girls bring to my life as I sit and listen to their tales of adventure.
5. Set boundaries
While it’s important to respect your child’s independence, it’s also important to set boundaries when necessary. This means being clear about our expectations and enforcing consequences when those expectations are not met. This one has been tricky. While they may live on their own, and pay their own way, some behavior must be corrected. We cannot take their cell phones and send them to their rooms, but we can let them know that their actions have been disappointing.
Parenting adult children can be challenging, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. By maintaining open communication, being supportive and respectful, keeping the relationship positive, and setting boundaries when necessary, we can help our adult children thrive and grow into the best version of themselves.
I hope these tips help put things in perspective. I’d love to hear from you. Follow The Empty Nest and comment below.
Shereece